Schmaltz on wry

Because there’s simply no way to give fertilized eggs full constitutional rights without taking some away from pregnant women.

- New report shows how the principle of “personhood” is already criminalizing pregnancy in the US

Not being a rapist should not be a symbol of being a hero; it should be the bare minimum for decent behavior. Refusing to sleep with someone who is too intoxicated to consent or who is being forced into sex because someone is threatening her does not make you a “good guy;” it just means that you pass one of the lowest bars for basic humane treatment.

That these movies are using that act as some sort of shorthand for “hero” is troubling. It implies that these men are doing something extraordinary by resisting the urge (and often it is an urge that they have to resist, especially in the films where they end up having consensual sex with the women later) to rape or take advantage of these women. Ultimately, that narrative helps support the idea that avoiding rape is a difficult thing, something worthy of praise.

The truth is that avoiding rape isn’t hard. If you don’t have consent, you don’t have sex. If you’re not sure that you have consent, you don’t have sex. If you are unable to get consent because of the person’s condition, you don’t have sex. If you get consent and you don’t want to have sex, you don’t have sex.

- Balancing Jane: Sexual Consent in Pop Culture: Waiting for Consent Doesn’t Make You a Hero

No matter what women do, there will be some segment of society casting that behaviour as some combination of being too selfish, too submissive, too lazy, too bossy, too weak, too shrill, too self-sacrificing, too emotional, too cold, too unrealistic etc; very often these judgements are fundamentally contradictory and applied inconsistently, but the one thing they do have in common as a trope is that Women Are Doing It Wrong. In particular, a behaviour that might have been very much encouraged and expected and approved of when a woman is at one particular stage of life will be held up at a later stage in life as the exact reason why women who complied with that expectation cannot now expect to have access to certain opportunities offered to men at an equivalent stage of life.

- “Most of our choices, as women, are looked upon with scorn”

Consider this, white feminist motherhood has been preoccupied with how motherhood has trapped women whereas black feminist motherhood sees motherhood as a political act of resistance. This is because white mothers take preservation for granted in the dominant white culture. On the other hand, black mothers need to work hard to protect their children, teach their children how to protect themselves, ensure culture is passed on, and heal those around them who missed out on this kind of mothering. White mothers have a history of their lives being narrowed to the home and have consequently focused their fight on getting the choice to work outside the home, whereas black mothers, who were rarely able to indulge the question of whether to work or not, have instead been faced with a consistent struggle to have their femininity even recognised.

- What does feminist motherhood look like when black mothers are defining it? « blue milk

We don’t lift weights in order to look hot, especially for the likes of men like that. What makes them think that we even WANT them to find us attractive? If you do, thanks very much, we’re flattered. But if you don’t, why do you really need to voice this opinion in the first place, and what makes you think we actually give a toss that you, personally, do not find us attractive? What do you want us to do? Shall we stop weightlifting, amend our diet in order to completely get rid of our ‘manly’ muscles, and become housewives in the sheer hope that one day you will look more favourably upon us and we might actually have a shot with you?! Cause you are clearly the kindest, most attractive type of man to grace the earth with your presence.

-

Zoe Smith, 18 year old weightlifter currently representing Great Britain at the Olympics, responding to tweets labelling her muscles “unattractive” and “unfeminine”. (via rawwomen)

Fuck Yeah This Lady.

(via jennifergearing)

Writer Caitlin Moran believes most women who don’t want to be called feminists don’t really understand what feminism is. In her book How to Be a Woman, Moran poses these questions to women who are hesitant to identify as feminists:

What part of liberation for women is not for you? Is it the freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man that you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Vogue by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that stuff just get on your nerves?

- ‘How To Be A Woman’: Not A Feminist? Caitlin Moran Asks, Why Not? : NPR